


Make it Real

by ahoeonlyforjunhoe



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23153353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahoeonlyforjunhoe/pseuds/ahoeonlyforjunhoe
Summary: Junhoe needs his bestfriend, Jiwon, to act as his boyfriend for the next few weeks and all because of his theater play. (i suck at summary, I'm sorry. But give it a try hehe)
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 11
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy! Feedback are appreciated :)) Thank y'all.

"Hyung, I swear on jinani hyung boxers! I will do anything if you'll do me this favor!" Junhoe gently squeeze Jiwon's hands and show his doe eyes, maybe it can persuade his hyung.

"Look, I do really want to help you but I'm not really sure about this... what would I be getting if I do this anyway?" Jiwon was not convince and was confuse for the favor that the younger wanted him to do. 

"Like I said, I can do anything and give you everything. I just really need your help, I badly want this role to be perfect and my instructor said if I wanted my role to be effective, I need to experience it first to know the feeling and act it naturally." Junhoe explained. He got the role of the young and passionate teenager that he wanted so bad on the theater play of their school. He researched and made a list of what he would do to pass the audition for the role and luckily, he passed! 

He expected that the character of his role was a bit difficult to act, because he was never been in love for his whole life and acting for an in love teenager character was the last thing that he wanted, but junhoe loves challenges so he never look at it as a bad thing. That's why now, he was actually begging his hyung to do the role of his character's love interest or just simply pretend as his boyfriend for a few weeks just so junhoe can experience how to be in love though they'll just be pretending but it's better than grabbing stranger on the street and act as his boyfriend.

"Why me? Out of all of people you idiot? Why did you choose to pester me?" Jiwon asked the younger. 

"Duh! Of course I will choose you, why would I pick someone else if I can just drag you? Just think about it hyung!"

"Am I allowed to think about this or do I need to answer you right away?" Jiwon wanted to help his bestfriend but he was not sure about his schedule, he got a tons of gig and he has a uni to attend too so as much as he wants to help the younger, his schedule was a bit off for the both of them.

"I can give you a five minutes to think. Now, think."

"What? are you fucking kiddin---"

"We're running out of time hyung! Just think about it quickly, and remember I'm your bestfriend and I need your he--"

"Stop making me feel guilty you idiot!" Jiwon flick the younger's forehead, earning a glare from him. 

"Am not! Just think hyung, stop blabbering nonsense!" Jiwon just glared and think about the younger's favor.

After a few minutes of thinking, he already decided his answer. Well, despite of being a nuisance and a complete idiot Junhoe was his bestfriend, they grew up together and made a pact that they will help each other. 

"So?" Junhoe threw him a curious gaze like a child who was gossiping about their new classmate.

"Uh, okay. I will help you, but I don't think I can see you everyday because I have a lot of things to do." Jiwon said as a matter of fact.

"Don't worry! I can adjust hyung, you can give me your schedule and I'll adjust my sched for you! ugh, I'm so nice, right?"

Jiwon rolled his eyes, he was so done with his bestfriends attitude but not in a bad way he just happened to heard all of junhoe's arrogant act since they were five so he was really used to it.

"Yeah, get lost now." Jiwon started walking towards his dorm, Junhoe was still following him.

"Hyung! I'm thinking!" Junhoe 

"Wow, that's new." Jiwon teased while rummaging his things, finding the keys of his dorm. 

"Shut up." Junhoe pouted like a small dog who was rejected by his mother for a milk. 

"Okay, what is it?" Jiwon asked when he entered his room, placing his things on the study table. He proceeded to take two sodas in can from his small refrigerator, he carefully opened Junhoe's lid because the idiot has a habit to wound his finger while opening a small can of soda.

"For us to act well, we need to have a pet name for each other, so we can be comfortable with our new setting." Junhoe drank the soda and waited for jiwon's answer. Jiwon, before answering Junhoe, he wiped the excess sodas on the side of Junhoe's mouth, the younger was really a mess, he thought. He had to take care of this big baby ever since they were little.

"I don't get the logic of that, Junhoe. Pet names are so gross. It's not my style you know." 

"But hyung, please? My character is too obsessed with pet names, I need to act natural about it." Junhoe showed his doe eyes and slowly poke the side of Jiwon until the older got irritated and agreed to it.

"Okay, Fine! What am I gonna call you, then?" Jiwon asked while sipping his soda.

"You can pick, there's a lot of sweet pet names you can think of that suits me. Like, honey? Coz I'm sweet." Junhoe proudly answered, he made a cute smile while looking at his hyung.

"Well, name that suits you? Oh!! I think I will call you idiot!" Jiwon laughed hysterically while holding his stomach. Junhoe glared at him and pinch the older's nose. 

"I said sweet!"

"Then MY idiot!" Jiwon emphasize the MY to sound sweet. 

"Forget it, I'm going home. Text me your sched so i can make my adjustement."

Junhoe was about to go out when the older grabbed his wrist and pull him closer. Jiwon hold the younger by his waist and stayed like that for a second. He can feel the warmth breath of Junhoe and the heat from his body. 

"Uh, hyung?" Junhoe confusedly asked. 

Jiwon raised his gaze and was greeted by the dark and deep eyes of the younger, if he was in love with junhoe he will be drown on how the youngers eyes were so beautiful and deep, like an ocean. 

"Wear this, idiot." Jiwon place the scarf on Junhoe's neck and let go of the younger's body. His mouth leaving a small sigh, it felt like his breathing stopped for a moment. 

"You can just give it to me! No need to pull me closer!" Junhoe complained, his heart did a somersault for a second and it was weird to feel that around Jiwon.

"Well you said we need to act as a couple, I just did my part you idiot!" 

"Oh. Okay. Good job then! I gotta go, thanks!"

Jiwon was also weirded out, he acted on a reflex, he felt like it was a natural thing to take care of the younger, no biggies. But, his heart thought it's something new. 

-  
Junhoe's Pov

I picked up my phone and stared at the registration form that shows the class schedule of Jiwon hyung. He have a free time every tuesday and friday but I know for sure he's also occupied on that time because he got a lot of gigs to attend to, the bastard is a hard worker. I smiled when Jiwon's face flashed on my mind, he look like someone who'll just goof around, buy drugs and just die poor, but he's really a goal oriented person, though it's not obvious because of his personality. 

I got up and check my class schedule, I have classes on Jiwon's rest day but good thing it's only one subject and a minor one so I have choice to ditch it... or whatever. 

I texted him and instruct what we need to do tommorrow, and yep, I'm planning for a date. I can think of a few things that we can do, maybe we can attend my jujitsu lesson together or we can run in han river? Is that what they do in a date? Or not?

A small sigh left my lips as I scribbled and list down all of the things that i can think of to do in a date but nothing make sense, it's not romantic. I don't really have a sweet side, poor Jiwon hyung. 

I guess I'll just let things go with the flow, it will be all right if there's no plan at all. 

When the morning came, I happily made a breakfast, just a simple toasted bread and milk, I also ate the pancake that Jiwon hyung made the other day. I hope everything will go well today, I don't want to screw things up and made an awkward scene later. God, I'm a walking ball of awkwardness and I'm not impressed about it.

Minutes later, I heard a knock on my door. I hurriedly go for it, an automatic smile pulled on my lips as I made my way on the door, surprised on how I acted, I stopped. why am I being excited to see Jiwon on the other side of the door? This is weird. Most of the time I'll just ignore the knocks until he become pissed off and will almost destroy the door and that's where I'll open it.

I put a poker face and open it, I was greeted by Jiwon hyung. He was wearing a simple green hoodie, a tight denim jeans and his eyeglasses that completed his boyfriend material look. His purple hair was glowing with the natural sunlight reflecting on the top of his hair. He almost look perfect--WHAT? you are completely insane junhoe. 

"Done ogling me, babe?" I choke on the pet name that I've heard.

"What?" 

"I said, done ogling me?" He repeated, slowly coming in on my house without me letting him. I stared at him, processing his words.

"What did you call me?" 

"Uh, babe?" He comfortably sat on the sofa and lift his legs on the table in front. 

"Why the heck did you call me that?" I sat on his side and crossed my arms.

"Because you said you wanted to have a pet name you idiot! Did you forget it already??" He flicked my forehead and I frowned at the slight pain that I felt. 

"Oh. I see. Well, it sounds weird coming from you. I guess I prefer idiot." I heard him snorted but I didn't paid any attention on him as my heart slightly flipped on what happened earlier, I went on my room and pick the clothes that I'll wear as well as to calm my racing heart. Fuck this. 

I just simply pick my favorite black shirt and black pants. 

I didn't put any accessories on my body as I believe I look good without any of it.

After finishing my breakfast and some discussion with jiwon hyung, which is not really important, we went on the Ocean's Eight , known for eight scary and terrifying rides in the whole country, it was a large amusement park on the center of the city. It was one of the place that I was dying to go to but was afraid to try coz I'm a little baby when it comes to rides. 

"You sure you okay with this ride?" Jiwon hyung step forward on me and stare at me for a second. I nodded, though I was nervously dying inside, we will ride a fucking rollercoaster, and this will be my first time. I closed my eyes and grip my knuckles til it turns white. I can do this for fuck sake. Don't be such a baby you idio---

I let out a small squeak when I felt a warm and soft hands ran on the lower part of my back, caressing it on a way that makes your worries and anxiety disappear and at the same time made your heart do a flip more than once. 

"I'm here, idiot. No need to be afraid, if you really can't, we can go to children rides since you're a baby after all." Jiwon hyung's left hand reach my cheeks and stay there for a minute. I almost ran away on the soft look that he was giving to me, he really look like a boyfriend supporting his partner. I might puke, not because I am disgusted but I got a nauseating feeling inside me when he did that. Well, he did a good acting/pretending there. I must commend him for such a good job, he almost made me believe it. 

Without realizing, I leaned on his touch, comfortable on warm. We stayed like that for a moment, until I realized what we were doing.

I step backward and left a small distance between us, I also saw the mix of slight disappointment and hurt on jiwon's face but I'm not really sure, I must be seeing things. 

"N-no, hyung. I... u-umm, I can do this. Just, um, like... can you, can you hold my hand just for the sake of me not falling out on that fucking roller coaster?" I stammered, embarassed on what I've said and also on what happened seconds ago, I lower down my gaze. Meeting the few stones under. 

When I heard nothing from Jiwon hyung, I immediately regret everything.

"Only if you want to, hyung! I won't force yo--"

He cut me off when his warm and soft hands locked with mine, securing my palm and fingers. He dragged me towards the line and we waited until it's our turn. I unconsciously gripped the railings on the side and look wherever. My anxiety is swallowing me whole and I'm not ready for it.

"Hey, idiot. C'mon, it's our turn." Jiwon hyung flashed a convincing smile at me and offer his hand. I looked at it and slowly hold it, like earlier, it felt warm and soft, and... weirdly, my nerves calm down, it felt safer with his hands intertwined with mine. 

We got into the middle part of the giant coaster, the sound of the instructor can be heard but I was overwhelmed with the nervousness and the fuzzy feeling inside me. 

When the safety bar got down on the mid part of our body, I knew the ride towards the hell was about to start.

"You'll be okay." Jiwon hyung tighten his hold onto my hands and I cling on his arms, like a koala when the coaster started to move. 

It was slowly moving upwards in to the highest peak. I was screaming my lungs out, not caring about what other people might think, I'm just scared and I'm sure if Jiwon hyung was not there I'm gonna cry. 

When the coaster reach it peak, I opened my eyes to the full view of the City and I was mesmerized for a millisecond when the coaster dropped with a fast speed, I thought my heart also sank together with my soul. I was really hopeless.

All through out the ride, I can only hear my scream and Jiwon's laugh while looking at me. He never leave his gaze from me, maybe checking if I'm still alive and yes, I'm thankful I made it alive until the last turn.

"That was freaking amazing!!" Jiwon smiled, eyes turning into crescent while the crinkles under it was so obvious, his bunny teeth were also showing, just like the old times. I smiled upon seeing him, a wave of familiarity and serenity calm my heart.

"W-what?" Jiwon smile disappeard and I was a bit alarmed, did I do something wrong?

"Why hyung?" I asked, taking a small step towards him.

"O-oh. Nothing." He avoided my gaze and look at the hem of his shirt, fiddling his fingers like a small kid hiding something.

"Nothing your face. What is it? You were smiling and then when you saw me it literally disappear. Did I do something wrong?" Okay, I'm overreacting but hell I don't want to do any stupid. 

"Stop being dramatic, you idiot. It's nothing, well, not really nothing, it's like... umm, how can I say this? You look pretty when you smile like that?" He ended the last phrase as a question, not sure about it but I'm definitely sure my heart jumped about it. And I couldn't control the blush from hearing it, so I just walked away on the scene. Well played hyung, I can get use to this. Stop beating damn heart.

We decided to eat first because we are a sucker for amusement park foods, and also I don't think my body and mind is ready for another terrifying ride as of the moment.

After a few minutes of eating, and bickering, of course, we are always bickering about stuff, not important stuff to be specific. 

We headed to the remaining rides that the amusement offers, it was a surprise that I enjoy all of the ride, especially the disco pang pang!(im not really sure if this is the right name of that ride) It was a funny ride where you need to sit on the sides of the disco-like ride and just hold the edge there so you won't fall out once the operator starts the ride. And to my surprise, Jiwon hyung helped me to not to fall, I was busy gripping the bar on the side while his left arm was encage on my waist. It was a bit intimate for me but in a wrong situation however I still feel my cheeks burned when the ride stopped.

My eyes immediately looked for a bench nearby and luckily I saw one, I hurriedly sat on it before my legs fell weakly. 

"You tired?" Jiwon arms make it on the lower back of my torso, just like earlier, he caressed it and then he stopped but his arms remained on my waist, I can feel his hands caging the side of my hips. And I... I don't know what to feel. There's a nagging feeling inside me that it was just an act so don't feel anything on it and there's also part of me, screaming and hyperventilating just because of the simple touch.

"Junhoe?" His soft voice brought me back to reality, he shifted his body towards my side and slowly reach my chin, he move it upwards then our eyes met.

"You okay?" He repeated. I just looked at his eyes, why does his eyes look real? I can see the emotion in there. 

When I felt drowning, I remove my face on his hold and look anywhere. 

I nodded, not looking at him.

There was a silence and then I raise my gaze to him, I was shocked when his eyes were still looking at me with a worried and sad look. I gulped. I don't like him giving me that look, because he looks sad and I don't want him being sad.

Without realizing it, I reach his hand and hold it. I smiled at him.

"I'm okay." I witnessed how his downcast look turn into something I can't name, but he looked happy and I'm more than okay with that.

-

Days after that first date, things changed. But not in a bad way, however I can feel that there was a slight awkward tension between Jiwon hyung and I but because I hate confrontation I didn't pay any attention about it. 

I'm not really sure about this. I don't like the feeling of being needy and clingy to him, fuck it. We just got our first date and here I am being a sappy shitty person, I wanted to see him. He wasn't free on his rest day and I got some things to do that's why it's been a week since I saw him. I feel sick and I don't like this. 

I was writing a few poem when I heard my phone rang. I hurriedly answer the call knowing who would it be. A serene feeling settle inside me when I heard his voice, I smiled.

"Hey, idiot." I just listened for a seconds, I hate to admit it but I miss him calling me idiot, it sound special. 

"Mm?" 

"You free today?" I glance up on the calendar, today was Monday. And as far as I knew he was supposed to have a class today.

"Why?" 

"Jieun hyung left Raon here and I've got no idea how to take care of this cute little thing. Can you come over?" I heard a soft and little squeal on the other side. I smiled on the image of jiwon hyung trying to calm the baby. 

"Uh, junhoe? still there?"

"Yeah hyung, sure, I'd like to come. Be there at 10." I hang up the call without saying goodbye because of the excitement that I felt. Oh gosh, I'm doom.

It was before 10 am, I arrived at Jiwon's flat. I can hear the baby chuckling and it made my heart fold in half. I really have a soft spot for babies. 

I didn't bother to knock knowing the door was open. 

"Hey, Raon baby!" I hurriedly went to Raon and pick him up from his uncle's arms. I kissed his fluffy cheeks and smiled at his flustered face, surprisingly he just look at me and did not cry. 

"Have he eaten his food?" I asked to Jiwon who tiredly laid on the sofa. Arms on his head. 

"Not yet, I was about to do it." He sighed. He look tired though, he had this big eyebags under his tired and drowsy eyes. 

I sat down on the front of the couch and met his eyes.

"Have you eaten already?" I softly asked, worried that he was too busy on his school works and the baby he forgot to eat.

He shifted his body, so he was facing me. His arms reach my left cheeks and caress it using his thumbs. I automatically blushed on the touch and I knew he saw that, because there was a small smile on his lips. It felt perfect, his hands on my cheeks, like a scene from a movie. 

I notice how his gaze move towards my eyes, nose and stayed on my lips. 

He bit his lips and I almost cursed. 

He returned his gaze on my eyes and he sat up. 

"Not yet. I was waiting for you." He got up and went to the kitchen, leaving me blushing and with a heart fluttering.

Raon smiled at me and slightly slap my face so I can woke up with this fuzzy feeling inside. I cooed at the cute eyes he has. I played with him for a while 'til Jiwon hyung told us that the food was ready. 

I place Raon on the baby seat and grab his baby food.

"Oh, you like this?" Raon let out a high pitch squeal while his arms were flapping on the sight of his food. 

I manage to feed the baby without causing any mess and I'm so proud.

of it. I saw Jiwon smiled on the sight of nephew, and I secretly smile too.

After a minutes of playing, I saw Raon's yawn and he was also crying so I presume he needs to sleep already. I picked him up and do the rocking technique of every parents when they need to put their baby on sleep and luckily the baby sleep.

"Jiwon hyung, I'll put him on bed first."

"Sure, I'll wait for you, so we can eat together." 

I proceeded to the small room on the left side corner, I saw Raon's play pen down on the side of Jiwon's bed. It was arranged as his sleeping bed and I smiled at the small and cute toys inside. 

I protect the back of his head while laying him carefully.

I place the small pillow on his side and I can't help to let out a pride smile. 

Few minutes later, when I was too sure that Raon was asleep already, I silently left the room and went to the kitchen. 

I saw Jiwon's hyung, stirring some soup on the stove, back facing me.

And I swear, I didn't intend to but I had the urge to feel the warmth of his back, I know it was crazy but my emotions was too much, and my mind was not in a good state too. I just miss the warm of his body close to mine. This is fucking crazy. 

Before I realize, I already envelope both my arms on his waist. Backhugging him, I felt him stiffened and a shiver ran up on his spine. 

I slowly lay my head on his back and just stay there. Savoring the warmth his body radiating. I can hear the loud beating of my heart, my mind was throbbing and I can't think straight right now, not with his back press on my chest. I can smell his familiar scent, Jiwon's scent is something you can't get off your mind, it was a mixture of vanilla cream and a distinct scent that Jiwon only has. 

I stayed for a few minutes. Not until Jiwon hyung move and shifted his body, facing me. 

And for the first time on that day, I panicked. My mind was clouded with my anxiety and worries. Oh gosh, I fucked up.

I wanted to runaway or dig a hole and just hide there, but Jiwon hands reach my chin and made me look at him. 

"I'-I'm sorry hyung.. I jus--"

My stammering was cut off when he slowly reach my waist and let my body crash into his. Our chest were leaning to each other. He hugged me and I was shocked for a minute until my hands reach for his back. My head was buried on his neck, sniffing his scent. 

I'm fucked up. I know all of this was an act but I can't help to crave for this.

-

Things escalated fast. Escalated meaning, I didn't flinch/hesitate anymore when I want to feel Jiwon's touch, embrace or any physical-related things. I don't know, it just happened quickly. When we were on date, I will reach out on his hands naturally, like it was the most natural thing in this relationship, pretend relationship rather. Sometimes, he would touch my face like it's the most fragile thing in this world and I just can't help myself to dive deeper with those eyes. It felt perfect, to be with him was one of my favorite things, to feel the rythm of his heart near me, to touch his soft and warm hand, and to just stare at his face, I never knew I was craving for this. But I must admit, I'm starting to be a bit worried on what would happen if this thing would end, I'm afraid that all of this would sacrifice our decade friendship and I don't want that to happen, I don't want to lose him. 

A soft sigh left my lips. 

When I was about to go to the kitchen I just realized that I got a high fever and body aches. Oh, I forgot about it. Usually, I just let this kind of things go away naturally, like I won't take any medicines because I believe our body don't need such thing. But now, I feel like dying. 

Because of the tiredness, body pain and fever I drifted on sleep after a minute, surprisingly, I wasn't hungry or something so I was asleep for 8hours straight.

I just woke up from the loud banging of my door. My mind was at haze, the pain was in there that's why I can't clearly decipher where that loud sound came from. 

I was about to go to sleep again when I hear a familiar voice outside. 

"Junhoe, you idiot!! Open this fucking door! Or I'll just crush this into pieces!! Fucking open this fucking door!!"

I mustered my strength and got up from my bed. 

I weakly open the door and was greeted by a raging and obviously angry Jiwon, his face slowly turn into soft look when he notice my state.

"Junhoe you idiot, what happened? I was calling you from last night and until this morning, and you weren't picking up. I was worried, idiot." 

He just remained there, with his soft and puppy look. His eyes were full of worries and it look like he was about to cry, he looks confuse and lost as hell. I felt a slight pang inside. 

I reach out for his hands and let it touch my cheeks. I lean to his touch and just stay there.

"I'm sorry hyung, I got fever and body aches that's why I fell asleep for the whole da--"

"What? You freaking idiot!! Why you didn't tell me about this? God, Junhoe! What if you were dying? You should have call me!! I was worried and I couldn't sleep so much because I know every night you would call and just rant about your day but last night I got nothing... I thought something happened to you."

I was shocked on how all of the tears flow continously from his eye, his shoulder was trembling and his body was shaking too much that I had to pull him closer for a hug.

I caged him with my arms. I held his back and buried his face on my neck. I smiled and kiss the top of his head.

"I'm sorry hyung."

We went to my bed silently. With our hand intertwine with each other, afraid to be away. 

"Have you eaten something?" We laid on the bed together, facing each other. There was a comfort between us with just observing each other.

"Not yet, I feel sleepy and tired." I stared at his eyes full of worry. I always wonder why his eyes were so sad, it was full of sadness and longing that I can't help to question myself, is he not happy with me? Why does his eyes look so sad whenever he's with me? 

I bit my lip from the overflowing emotion and sadness that were trying to get out of my eyes. 

"Junhoe? You okay?" I heard his voice and I almost cried my heart out. I wish all of this were true hyung. I hope we are not pretending, because I don't know what to do anymore. Just the thought of breaking apart and staying friends crush my heart, I don't want that to happen. 

"Hyung..." I reach out for his cheeks, caressing my thumb on it's soft flesh. I held him carefully, afraid to break him. I never knew I would want something that wasn't mine to begin with. 

"Why? Are you hurt?" His face was so close to mine that I could clearly hear his breathing, I could feel the warmth of his skin. 

I held his nape and slowly close the gap between us, and it was a bliss. Everything about it was paradise, his soft and plump lips felt heavenly. 

It was a matter of second when he responded on my kiss, slow and tender. 

I reach out for his neck and made the kiss deeper, with my tounge asking for entrance and with his mouth welcoming it. 

I trace my tounge on the inside,the upper part of his mouth. Swallowing his tounge and biting his lower lip.

He manage to be on my top without breaking the kiss.

I felt exhilarated when he return the favor by sliding his tounge inside of my mouth and just suck my mouth whole. 

I let out a soft whimper when he bit my lower lip and replace it with his tounge. I felt his hand sneaking on the inside of my shirt and touching my stomach, he stayed there for a second and proceeded to the nub of my nipple. He carefully pinch it which earn a low moan from me. 

And... he suddenly stopped. 

I opened my eyes and I saw how Jiwon's eyes let out a small tear. 

My mind was puzzled. Why? Why is he crying?

"I'--I'm sorry, J-junhoe, I can't."

Then he left.

\- - - 

I'll update the next chapter soon! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Days have passed, actually it was exactly 2 weeks and 3 days since the last time Jiwon hyung and I spoke, since the last time I saw him. And I feel terrible, I was afraid to talk to him about it, afraid to lose what we have and to lose him totally, so I just hid for the past few days.

After he left me on that moment, I cried, and that was the hardest cried I'd ever poured out in my whole life, I felt the pain on every words he uttered before he left me with nothing... still, I love him. 

I tried to focus on my studies and especially on my theater character but I can't because whenever I go, whatever I do, I see him. I feel his soft touch, his embrace, I can hear his voice, his little whisper. I still smell his scent, with my clothes, his scent was still there, not like him, away and gone. 

I let out a soft sob when I remember him again. I hate this, but it was my own fault! If I didn't drag him into this shit, this would not happen and our friendship will still be here. 

I stopped crying when I heard a soft knock from the door, I almost tripped when I hurriedly went for it expecting to see Jiwon hyung outside instead I was greeted by Donghyuk.

Donghyuk was one of our mutual friend, he was a great friend also. 

I sighed but I let him in. 

Silence fell over, I was not in the mood to talk actually, I just sat across him, fiddling my fingers and my mind wanders.

"Hey." I looked at Donghyuk.

"Jinan hyung's birthday is coming, yunhyeong hyung and I would go to supermarket to buy some ingredients for the foods, we just um want to check on you, would you like to come with us?" 

I never paid attention on what he was saying, my mind was occupied by Jiwon, everything about him hunts me and I'm too weak to let go all of his memories...

Minutes later, donghyuk was shaking my shoulder with a worried look on his face.

"Junhoe, stop crying please. Everything will be okay, alright?"

A tear went off my eyes.

"No, you're wrong. Everything was ruined, I lost him."

He comfort me by side hugging me and patting my head, I just cried on his shoulder and weep all of my longings.

"You didn't, you can still find him if you'll try." 

"I am scared."

"Of what?"

"Of everything, losing him and breaking what we have."

"But you can also have him again. You'll never know if you'll just hide."

He put both of his hands on my cheeks and I saw how serious he was.

"I just want you and Jiwon hyung to be happy."

He then hugged me again and we just stay like that.

-  
"You can do this idiot." I exhaled a long breathe.

I am currently in Jiwon's hyung dorm. I was here since 10 minutes ago and I just really can't bring myself to knock on his door because I'm fucking scared, what if he was mad? or he doesn't want to see me anymore? That can be possible and I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready for this.

My thoughts were interrupted when Jiwon's door slowly opened, and I fucking panicked. I just stood there with my wide eyes and anxiety. 

And there, I saw him.

Standing from the other side, he had a puffy and red eyes, he looked so thin and sad. And my heart breaks upon seeing him, I almost hugged him. 

It was a whole silence. We just stared at each other, somehow I didn't want to break the serenity between us, coz just by seeing him my heart was already happy.

I witnessed how his eyes let out a small tear and we both cried. 

"H-hyung..."

He step towards me and just simply lean his lips on mine.

We were kissing, and it was so perfect. With our hearts and eyes crying.

I let him dominate me.

His soft lips collided with mine and I felt the shiver ran on my spine.

I parted my lips when I felt his tounge invading my inside, I let him suck the hell out of me. I just held his neck, afraid to let go of him again. 

After his soft kisses on my cheeks, jaw and neck. 

He lean in his forehead with mine.

"I love you, idiot."

I cried. 

Then why? Why did you ran away?

"But loving you, also means losing you. And I was not ready to lose you, idiot. So... I had to do that. But guess what? I almost lost myself without you."

He held both of my cheeks and softly caress it with his thumbs. He kissed my forehead, nose and lips. It was a slow and tender kiss, like a proof that he loves me.

"I love you too, hyung."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go! Thank you for reading this :))


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